{"id":6303,"date":"2022-11-15T04:21:14","date_gmt":"2022-11-15T04:21:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.accesspsych.com.au\/?p=6303"},"modified":"2022-11-22T01:07:18","modified_gmt":"2022-11-22T01:07:18","slug":"domestic-violence-keeping-safe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.accesspsych.com.au\/staging\/domestic-violence-keeping-safe\/","title":{"rendered":"Domestic violence: how to keep yourself safe"},"content":{"rendered":"

One in six women have experienced violence by an intimate partner and, on average, one woman per week is killed by a current or former partner.[i]<\/a><\/p>\n

Each year, organisations such as White Ribbon choose one day in particular for people to come together in solidarity to raise awareness of gendered violence.<\/p>\n

This year, White Ribbon Day takes place on November 18, with people urged to wear a white ribbon that stands for never taking part in, condoning or staying silent about violence against women.<\/p>\n

Men and, in particular, young boys and teenagers, are encouraged to wear the white ribbon to support and highlight that pledge, whilst reflecting on the gender norms in our society.<\/p>\n

What is domestic violence?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse, is any pattern of behaviour in any relationship that is used to maintain power and control over an intimate partner.[ii]<\/a><\/p>\n

Although domestic is in the name, this type of abuse doesn\u2019t have to take place in your home or anywhere else, just in your relationship.<\/p>\n

Signs of domestic violence<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Knowing if you\u2019re in an abusive relationship can be difficult. Lots of people in abusive relationships feel like they\u2019re at fault, but this is never the case.<\/p>\n

ReachOut Australia<\/a> has put together some of the signs that could indicate that you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship. Remember, these signs aren\u2019t mutually exclusive.<\/p>\n

Possessiveness<\/u><\/h3>\n

Your partner might show signs of possessiveness, like constantly checking in to see where you are and who you\u2019re with.<\/p>\n

This can extend to trying to control where you go and who you see, like limiting the amount of time you spend with your friends.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re not together, this possessiveness can often take the form of multiple text messages and frequent calls.<\/p>\n

Jealousy<\/u><\/h3>\n

Jealousy is a common sign that you\u2019re in an abusive relationship. If your partner is jealous, they may accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting.<\/p>\n

Just like possessiveness, you may find your partner isolating you from family and friends, along with behaving rudely to them when confronted.<\/p>\n

Put-downs<\/u><\/h3>\n

Put-downs, both in public and private spaces, can be a tell-tale sign that you\u2019re in an abusive relationship.<\/p>\n

Put-downs can be varied and include attacks on difference aspects of your intelligence, appearance, mental health, capabilities or opinions.<\/p>\n

They can also come in the form of constantly comparing you to others, blaming you for all the problems in your relationship and for their violent outbursts.<\/p>\n

Threats<\/u><\/h3>\n

You may find your partner threatening you, your family, friends or a pet, with physical violence. They may have outbursts, shout or sulk.<\/p>\n

Along with this, your partner may break things that are of value, such as your mobile phone or things that hold sentimental value.<\/p>\n

Physical\/sexual violence<\/u><\/h3>\n

Your partner might be physically violent with you, which includes pushing, shoving, hitting and grabbing you.<\/p>\n

They may also be sexually violent towards you, which can include making you have sex or other things you don\u2019t want to do.<\/p>\n

What to do if you\u2019re a victim of domestic violence<\/strong><\/h2>\n

If you think you\u2019re in an abusive relationship, you\u2019re in danger. That\u2019s why it\u2019s vital to look after yourself and start dealing with the situation. Don\u2019t put it off.<\/p>\n

Call 000<\/u><\/h3>\n

If you\u2019re in danger, or if you have been threatened, physically hurt or sexually assaulted, don\u2019t hesitate. Call 000 immediately.<\/p>\n

Talk to someone<\/u><\/h3>\n

If you\u2019re not in immediate danger, or you don\u2019t want to call the police, then it\u2019s vital that you talk to someone about your situation.<\/p>\n

This can be a friend, family member or even a work colleague. If you don\u2019t feel comfortable speaking to them, seek the help of a professional.<\/p>\n

Psychologists and other medical professionals are trained to deal with domestic violence, and they can support you with anything you need.<\/p>\n

Seek alternative shelter<\/u><\/h3>\n

If you need to leave your property, it\u2019s a good idea to seek alternative shelter beforehand. This can be with a family member or friend.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, not everyone has friends and family to turn to, so if this is the case, seek out your nearest refuge centre by looking online.<\/p>\n

Most refuge centres have other useful services, such as legal advice, and practical help, including things like food and clothing support.<\/p>\n

What to do if you think someone is a victim of domestic violence<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Suspecting your friend or loved one is a victim of domestic violence can be deeply upsetting, and taking action can seem daunting.<\/p>\n

However, it\u2019s vital that you\u2019re there for your friend, especially when there\u2019s a good chance you\u2019ll be the first person they come to for support.<\/p>\n

The NSW Government has outlined a few steps you can take to look out for your friend or loved one if you suspect they\u2019re a victim of domestic violence.[iii]<\/a><\/p>\n

Be respectful<\/u><\/h3>\n

Try not to give your opinion. Instead, approach the person and start the conversation by letting them know you\u2019re worried about them.<\/p>\n

Proceed to talk about things you\u2019ve noticed rather than what you think. For example, \u201cI\u2019ve noticed you have some bruises. How did that happen?\u201d<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t judge<\/u><\/h3>\n

Listen to the person carefully and show empathy. Make sure you are in a place where they feel safe and believe what they\u2019re telling you.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s important never to blame them for what\u2019s happening. It\u2019s also vital never to underestimate their fear of danger.<\/p>\n

Offer support<\/u><\/h3>\n

Continue to reinforce the fact that no one deserves to be abused, beaten or threatened and that it is never their fault, under any circumstances.<\/p>\n

Remind them of their good qualities and how much of a good person they are, looking towards their strengths and how they\u2019ll get through this.<\/p>\n

Allow them to make their own decisions<\/u><\/h3>\n

You can\u2019t force anyone to do anything they don\u2019t want to do, so if your friend isn\u2019t ready to seek help or end the relationship, don\u2019t criticise or disregard them.<\/p>\n

Remember, domestic violence can be complex, and ending any relationship is difficult, let alone when there\u2019s domestic violence involved.<\/p>\n

Keep in mind that, by talking to you, your friend or family member has taken major strides to address the situation they\u2019re in.<\/p>\n

Help them find a support service<\/u><\/p>\n

Put together some information and useful contact numbers of domestic violence support services in their local area.<\/p>\n

Let your friend or family member know they\u2019re not alone and that these services are there to support them and help them out of their situation.<\/p>\n

Help them find a safe space<\/u><\/h3>\n

Your friend may decide to remain in the relationship, or even return to their partner after a temporary separation. If this is the case, don\u2019t pressure them to leave.<\/p>\n

Instead, tell them you\u2019re afraid for their safety and remind her how dangerous the violence can be or how it has the potential to get worse.<\/p>\n

To help keep them safe, there are a few things you can do, including:<\/p>\n