Pop culture has spawned plenty of myths about relationships, whilst romantic comedy movies and even reality TV – shows such as Love Island and The Bachelor – have played their part in shaping the way we think about relationships.
Unfortunately, myths and false expectations surrounding relationships can negatively impact relationships when taken at face value. Some myths contain kernels of truth, but others are completely wrong, which is why it’s important that to separate fact from fiction.
Our relationship psychologists have taken the liberty of breaking down seven of the most common relationship myths, dispelling some of their common assumptions and getting to the truth.
7 myths about love and relationships
Relationship myth 1: if you’re in a good relationship, the passion will never fade
Some people believe that being in a good relationship means the passion will never fade, or that once passion has faded, you’re no longer in a good relationship.
Most relationships start out with plenty of passion. Everything is new, and there’s a tendency to get swept along in the throngs of joy and excitement of getting to know someone.
However, change can and does happen. Children come along, work and financial commitments come into the picture and you might not be able to spend the same amount of quality time together.
This doesn’t mean the passion has gone. Sometimes it’s just dormant and needs a little bit of care and attention to bring out that side of your relationship.
Taking time to plan a date night amongst a busy schedule or doing something spontaneous, like bringing your loved one breakfast in bed, can be a good way to keep your relationship passionate.
Relationship myth 2: arguing means your relationship is broken
Being in a good relationship doesn’t mean you’re never going to argue with your partner. You’re two individuals with your own opinions, so it’s only natural for them to clash at times.
Having a difference of opinion can lead to arguing, which is a normal part of any relationship. However, it’s important that arguments stay civil and don’t become nasty.
When couples start using arguments as a way to hurt one another and not to resolve their difference of opinions, things can start to quickly spiral.
It’s important to make sure arguments are fair. This can mean no name calling, giving each other a chance to talk and even agreeing to disagree at times.
Relationship myth 3: jealousy means they love you
Pop culture has given birth to the myth that jealousy is synonymous with love, and that getting jealous when you see your partner speaking to someone else is romantic.
Possessiveness and jealousy might be a sign of true love on TV or in the movies, but in reality, they’re signs of an unhealthy relationship.
The “logic” is, your partner doesn’t love you if they don’t get possessive when they see you getting attention from another person.
In fact, true love and healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and trust. A lack of these values can lead to couples drifting apart.
Trying to make a partner jealous can also backfire. It can cause arguments and lead to relationship issues further down the line.
Relationship myth 4: going to couples therapy means your relationship is over
Some couples think that going to couples therapy or seeing a relationship psychologist signals the end of their relationship, or that things have gotten so bad there’s no return.
This isn’t true. In fact, attending couples therapy is a proactive step that many couples take to fix something that isn’t quite right in their relationship.
Couples therapy can also be sign of a strong relationship. While couples therapy can be seen as an admission of weakness by some, it takes strength to admit something is right, as well as courage and commitment to make changes.
Some couples even proactively go to couples therapy or a relationship psychologist to work on things they identify as weaknesses in their relationship.
Relationship myth 5: good relationships don’t require work
From the outside, it can seem like strong relationships require little work, and that they’re easy because the two individuals are simply compatible.
However, all relationships require work, and good relationships often have the most amount of time and effort invested into them.
It’s similar to growing a plant. You have to plant it and then nurture it, making sure that it stays happy and healthy, and making adjustments to fix any issues.
A healthy relationship will often see both people put in the same amount of work. If one person seems to be putting more work in than the other, this could be a sign that something isn’t right.
Relationship myth 6: you should want to be together every minute of the day
Love birds in the perfect relationship should be joined at the hip, right? As romantic as the movies may makes this notion, it’s still a myth.
Some people feel guilty when they spend time away from their partner, but we’re all individuals and we all need space and time to do our own thing.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to give up your hobbies, spending time with your friends or striving to achieve your personal goals.
Remember, it’s important to continue bringing your unique personality into your relationship, after all, this is likely one of the primary reasons your partner wants to be with you.
Relationship myth 7: having a child will make your relationship stronger
Some couples believe that having a child will solve their relationship issues, but this is a common myth and one that lead to more problems than solutions.
Having a child doesn’t necessarily mean two people will start loving each other less, or that they won’t bond over the child, but it can still cause issues.
Having a child can increase the number of challenges you’re already facing – especially if you and your partner already struggle to spend time together.
If you’re thinking about having a child with your partner, it’s always good to think long and hard as to whether you’re ready for the challenges and responsibilities that come with parenthood.
Don’t be afraid to talk to a psychologist for relationship counselling and support
If you’ve tried to take steps to address the issues in your relationship, or even if there are no issues and you just want to build a better relationship, you can seek the help of a professional like a relationship psychologist.
Access Psych can support individuals with relationship issues. If you want to enquire about our counselling services, call us on 1800 277 924 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
If there’s an immediate risk of harm to yourself or others, please call 000.
And if you need someone to talk with now, call:
- Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 or chat online at beyondblue.org.au
- Lifeline: 13 11 14
- Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467
Need to talk to a relationship psychologist?
With over 80 practitioners across Australia as well as telehealth options, Access Psych psychologists are able to support you. Our team has experience in a range of different areas of mental health, including relationships. If you need to see a relationship psychologist, Access Psych can connect you and your partner to one.
Alternatively, if you have any questions about Access Psych and what else we can do for you, visit our Frequently Asked Questions page.
When you’re ready, you can book an appointment online, speak to one of our friendly team on 1800 277 924 or email email@example.com.
The information provided in this document is general in nature and is intended to be used for information purposes only. While we have tried to ensure the accuracy of the information published, no guarantee can be given that the information is free from error or omission or that it is accurate, current or complete.
The information published is not, and should not be relied on as, health or treatment advice. The diagnosis and treatment of any mental illness requires the attention of a physician or other properly qualified mental health professional. If you are seeking diagnosis or treatment of any other mental illness, you should consult a physician or mental health professional. You should not delay in seeking, or disregard, professional health advice because of something you have read in this document.